Is Homeschooling A Necessity? (Episode #123 from February 3, 2013)

Is Homeschooling A Necessity? (Episode #123 from February 3, 2013)

Oh, wow, I’ve got so much to say about this one. I should begin by admitting that I’m a homeschooling failure. There’s a long, ugly story behind this admission, but it’s probably enough to say I married my husband under the pretense that I would cheerfully put aside my unsuccessful career and give our unborn children the best “Classical” education ever—which would amazingly involve Socrates, Shakespeare, and trips to the opera. Then, when the kids started toddling over with those wretched Spot books (Spot Goes To School, Spot Goes To The Circus, Spot Goes To The Farm, Spot Goes To The Holocaust Museum, Spot Suffers An Existentialist Crisis), and when my homeschooling supermom friends trembled with excitement over new curriculum and set up spiffy classrooms in their living rooms or planted pesticide-free gardens, I broke down and announced, “I can’t do it.” I think I added, “This will kill me.” Knowing me, I probably put it this way: “Tim, you’re killing me.” Yeah, that’s what I said.

Though I was met by support from most people in my life (lots of Christians), who affirmed that it’s not a moral issue and homeschooling isn’t for everyone, I got the distinct impression that I was blowing it: as a mom, a wife, a woman, and a Christian.

That said, my kids are in school now.

This episode of Backpack Radio features Joel McDurmon of American Vision, who argues convincingly, albeit maybe a little over-the-topishly, that education must be private in a truly free society. He says that public schools stem from the idea that there is no original sin; therefore, the implication is that we can perfect ourselves by controlling our environments. Such thinking influenced the development of insane asylums, prisons, and public schools. Education literally means “to lead out of . . .” It follows, then, that we might ask ourselves who’s doing the leading and where are we going. Keeping in mind that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, McDurmon argues that homeschooling is mandated for Christians.

Frankly, he’s convincing. I can’t say that I think he’s full of it. Public education is godless. Parents are the ones responsible for their children. The thing he just doesn’t discuss (and, actually, I’m not so sure I’ve really heard anyone discuss) is how this is connected to women, and what it means to be a Christian woman. The “woman issue.” In postmodern parlance, we’re talking the “feminist discourse.”

(Pertinent Side Note: No one would really call me a feminist. “I’m just a girl,” to quote No Doubt, a semi-lackluster band.)

Before my rightwing friends tune me out, give me a chance. I’m only going to raise some questions and drop some comments, and—who knows?—maybe these all stem from personal feelings of inadequacy and my own unwillingness to really give up my self-life by buckling down and homeschooling.

• I really, truly, completely, wholehearted think teaching—teaching children, specifically—is a gift. One is automatically a parent when one gives birth, but giving birth does not automatically turn one into a gifted teacher. I just don’t fully get why we “cheapen,” if you will, this gift. I know kids who have gotten fabulous educations at home. I also know kids who were kinda cheated, kids who don’t know where the Mississippi River is. Am I going too far?

• What about a woman’s vocation? Are moms allowed to have other vocations too? I don’t really have any answers. I still haven’t come to terms with my own role as a writer. I did, at some point, have an acute awareness that it’s something I better do or else. But I’m a mom too.

• If Backpack Radio would like to do another show on this topic, I’d suggest the guys talk to three kinds of Christian women: the Christian women who send their kid(s) to private schools, the Christian women who send their kid(s) to public schools, and the Christian women who homeschool. Let them talk. But get some honest broads. I know some women who have no desire whatsoever to do what they’re doing. I’d like to hear from them—though it’s tough to get them to talk. And then I’d like to know if I’m just trying to couch my selfish ambition in theological backtalk.

• So, like, yeah: it often seems like the homeschooling agenda is imposed on the woman in the name of godliness, and she takes it on quietly—also in the name of godliness. (By the way, I know plenty of women who love it, choose it, and thrive at it.) This all makes me question what is the role of the wife, how is vocation defined, how important is talent, etc.

• On education: I’ll be honest. I hate the idea of sending my kids out there into the arms of the public education system. I’m scared of porn on the Internet. I’m scared of mean girls. I’m scared of pervs. I’m scared of pretty boys. I’m scared of secular humanism. And I’m a little disillusioned with parts of private education (the meanies and pervs don’t go away). In the name of protecting kids, private education might withhold knowledge. Homeschooling has its problems, too. I value a lot about the school experience: learning how to line up at the drinking fountain, going on field trips, having a lunch box, learning classroom etiquette—the whole socialization process. I think a lot of homeschooling moms dismiss these things as insignificant, but I’m not really sure. Obviously, one has to trust in God, accept the sovereignty of God, and know that a child might do well in a variety of circumstances.

• There’s this tension, if you ask me, between living as if the ideal were already in place and between living with the reality of a fallen world. The ideal might be—I’m really not sure—that we homeschool. In an ideal world, marriages would be such that women thrive, men would help in a real way, talent would blossom, kids would be attentive and eager, et al. Do we—not just in this area, but others too—live like the ideal exists? In other words, should single moms homeschool, no matter what? I have to tell you this: there have been other areas of my life in which I’ve tried to live according to an ideal, and I freakin’ fell apart.

That said, it’s very hard for me to remove the discussion from its context: what about the women? Give the show a listen. What do you think?

Jennifer Bell is mostly a writer, but she’s also an English teacher. The author of two books of fiction, she lives with her husband and two kids in Phoenix.