Understanding YOUR adoption shapes your child’s understanding of THEIR adoption, part 3

All Things New

Last week we talked about where you came from and who you were before your adoption in Christ.  It wasn’t a pretty picture.  Now let’s look at who you are in your new adopted family. (Please take some time to look up and read these passages in their context)

1.  Because of adoption, you were given a new life

Ezekiel 11: 19-20:  “And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes and keep my rules and obey them. And they shall be my people, and I will be their God”

Ephesians 2:  “And you WERE dead…BUT GOD…made us alive together in Christ…”

You were dead, but God made you alive.  He gave you a new life at great personal cost to himself. Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, you are no longer a child of the enemy.  You are now a child of God.  You are no longer enslaved to death.  You are now alive. When you hear the word “adoption” your first thought should be: life.

2.      Because of adoption, you were given a new identity

Galatians 4: “…you WERE enslaved to the elementary principles of the world.” but we were redeemed “…so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his son into our hearts crying, “Abba! Father! So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.”

There are many other places in the NT that talk about how we are “no longer” slaves (Hebrews 2, Romans 6 & 8, Galatians 5) instead we are seen as sons and daughters of God! We were dirty, worthless, and had nothing to offer. We were not desirable.  Yet God adopted us and because of our adoption we now share in the inheritance of Christ! We are clothed in righteousness instead of sin.  We are beloved children instead of rebellious enemies. Our identity is now: Christ.  

3.      Because of adoption, you were given a new purpose

     
  Read 2 Corinthians 5: 16-21. The most quoted/known part of this passage is verse 17, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation the old has passed away; behold the new has come.”  Take some time to read the context of this passage. We are told that because we are a new creation we are now given the ministry of reconciliation.  How beautiful! We are adopted into a family that has a purpose, a reason for existing. We were not just pardoned for our sin, but we were assigned the same purpose that God himself has for creation! We get to participate in his plan to redeem people to himself from every tribe, tongue, and nation.  This is only because of adoption. We could have been justified and sanctified without then being adopted by God, but because of adoption, we now share in Christ’s inheritance and purpose. Because we are sons and daughters of God we are duty bound to fulfill the ministry we have been called to.

How should our understanding of these truths influence the way we speak and think about us adopting children?

There are dozens of parallels, but a few stand out to me:

1.          You got a new name, so should they.  Despite what the world and psychologist may say, there is nothing wrong with it and name changing is a biblical concept.  You have a new name because you are now a new creation, so do not feel guilty about renaming your child.  There is something significant and meaningful about picking your child’s name. Since the beginning of time (Adam, Abraham,Isaac, Israel, etc) being assigned a name was important. You do not HAVE to give a new first name (We didn’t with Mya, but did with Marcel), but then at least assign a very meaningful middle name.  It is a powerful way to relate to your child since you both have new identities and new names, all because you were both adopted.  Marcel Vermon Pierre. Mya Hope Pierre. Judah Justice Pierre. I love to talk with Marcel and Mya (and someday Judah) about why we picked those names and how excited I am to also have a new name because of what Christ did for me!

2.       You should never fear that you are not equipped to help your child work through whatever comes up as a result of their past.  IF you understand who you were before Christ and who you are now that God has adopted you into his family THROUGH Christ, then EVERYTHING your child goes through you can personally relate to.  Every time Marcel speaks to me about his hurt or pain, his eyes light up when I share a story that mirrors his—only I speak of it through a spiritual lens. Your child was abused physically by a biological parent? You were abused spiritually by the devil. Your child was treated like dirt? You were a slave to dirt. Your child has uncommon fear?  You were owned by fear. Your child worries about being unlovable. You were unlovable. 
    My children have yet to share something with me that I could not relate to. Empathizing with their pain has been healing for my children and has knit us into a family. Our conversations always end with Marcel saying how thankful he is for having such a good God who loves him. 
 

3.         Too often I hear of women, unable to have children, desperate to be a mother, longing to begin the adoption process, yet their husbands refuse to adopt.  These men claim to be Christian, yet are unable to see a child they adopt as their own child.  Mother’s Day comes and goes each year and they allow their wives to remain barren, while God has given them a beautiful means to bear children through adoption. 
    Of course there is still great pain, loss, and heartache to work through when women cannot conceive, but that pain is different then the pain of being childless for life. That is a pain that is much deeper and greater. A pain no woman should have to go through for life against her will. It also does not compare to the pain of children being parentless. Also a pain that no child should have to face, but many do because too many Christians do not adopt.
    A husband who is struggling to joyfully pursue adoption when his wife desperately wants to be a mother should seek council from a pastor and ask the Holy Spirit to open their eyes to this gospel truth. Their minds need to be transformed and renewed by God’s word in relation to this truth.

I am convinced that Christians do not adopt because they do not understand their adoption biblically.  And to not understand the theology of adoption is to miss the heart of the gospel.  I pray that our churches would be full of men and women who come before God full of awe and wonder that he would adopt them.  I pray that the theology of adoption would so captivate our hearts that we are undone before our Lord and can’t help but look for ways to adopt children or support families who are positioned to adopt. I hope our churches are one day full of families begging for the chance to adopt a child that is in need of a family. This would so beautifully reflect what has already happened in heaven.